Monday, September 6, 2010
Well Grammy died Saturday evening.
Haley was there visiting (her dad Dave lives there too) but she was in her room when Grammy passed on.
Thinking it was best, Haley's dad called me and I went to get her.
After being told that Grammy just died Haley didn't show any reaction at that time, she continued on with what she was doing as if nothing had happened. On our drive home I stopped for gas and I adjusted my mirror so I could see her, as soon as she made eye contact with me, she broke down, the tears just start to fall. We both sat there for moment and just cried together.
Grammy has been another parent to Haley her whole life. She would take care of Haley while her dad would work during the week that he would have her. Haley spent a lot of time with her up until this last year. Grammy seemed to be getting tired more but at 78 years, that was expected.
Less than a month ago Grammy went in for not feeling well and looking jaundice, now she is gone. Grammy refused chemo as they said it would only buy her 2 more months to live, she chose instead, to return home and die. Hospice provided her care.
On Saturday when Grammy passed away it became overcast, with dark clouds looming over, the day prior was around 90 degrees. Yesterday it rained for a while and then the clouds began to break up with the sun poking through. Haley and I went outside, she took her umbrella in case it started to rain again.
I had my camera as always and when I glanced over at her she was just standing there looking as if she had been left behind. That is when I took this photograph. She was trying to play but didn't really have it in her. Instead we talked about Grammy. We decided that the reason the sun was coming out was because Grammy made it to heaven.
Grammys name is Marlys Brown
Goodbye Grammy
Sunday, August 1, 2010
When we are together everything just works
The daily obstacles just don't exist.
It's that feeling of knowing everything will be ok.
For the first time in my life being with someone feels easy, being with you feels easy.
I don't have to think about what I am going to say or how it will sound I'm not worried if it is too soon or when it will be appropriate to share my emotions.
I can say what I want to say, feel how I'm feeling and I never once have to question how you will react to it. I get to be me and I know that its enough.
Being with you makes me happy, you make me smile.
You make me laugh, you make me feel like I can do anything.
When I look into your eyes I like who you see and that means everything.
I have no uncertainties anymore, my future is so clear for the first time ever.
Finally I know where I belong.
I love being with you.
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